Man, those questions you guys gave me a couple posts back…they’re not easy. :) The first one asks what character changes I’ve noticed in myself since moving here. Great question!
I’m not sure if it shows in my blog, but I’m a Type A person – I like schedules and lists, I’m a rule-follower and worry-wort, and I get stressed if things are not following the plan. However, I had to give those traits up with moving here. I think I’ve become a lot more easy-going and relaxed.
Part of the change is that in the US, I felt that I had control over my life. I decided what I wanted to do and when I wanted to do it. Over here, I’ve had to let go a little. I’m not hopelessly waiting for someone to rescue me, but it’s more of not knowing how things work and not having the language to always move it forward myself right away.
Over here, I can plan an entire day out, only to discover that the tram doesn’t come because it’s a holiday, or there’s a protest. I’m not as likely to return something at the store, or argue for a discount because of a flaw because I don’t know how to explain myself in French or Dutch. For 2 months, I used fabric softener rather than detergent on our clothes because I didn’t translate the text on the bottle. Fortunately, because I have a very flexible schedule, it’s easy to say, “It didn’t work out today – let’s just try again tomorrow.”
In the whole scheme of things, Belgium isn’t that different from the US. It’s not like we’re living in a place with thatch-roof huts, or water we have to collect ourselves. But still, everyday has a ton of little differences and with those, little accomplishments – I figured out what sour cream is called, I learned where to buy curtains, I greeted my neighbor in French on the way out of the building. These things are part of the overseas adventure.
So, yes, I think I have changed. I’ve learned to let go and not be stressed about things I can’t control…well, at least a little bit. :) I’ve even caught myself telling Thomas to not worry, that we’ll figure it out in time. It’s the only way I could remain happy while living in a place where I can’t always predict how things work.
It’s hard to review your own character; I wonder if Thomas would say these same things about me from his perspective.
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Interesting!! :)
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I still show up waay too early for things here. I’m always worried about buses or trams running late. It doesn’t happen often, but I like to cushion my time. But early here is “on time” for an American, so I’m always excruciatingly early.
I agree with your assessment. Didn’t know you in USA, but I think you are very calm, easy going and fun. I like these responses to questions! I bet you will like looking back at them in time too.
Once in Switzerland I poured fish marinade on a salad because I thought it was dressing. And once I had to steal toilet paper from a public train station because all the stores were closed on Sunday.
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I find that the effort it takes to price-shop or ask for clarification is often too much. I think I end up spending a lot more money on things here just because I’m too exhausted to figure out how to do otherwise.
Glad to know you are embracing the change :)
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Good for you, Dallas! Relaxing and not worrying seems to be a European benefit that we rarely learn here in the USA. Chill out a bit for the rest of us, too. :)
im glad you are getting along there!!
I did the same thing with the fabric softener. And I just “discovered” sour cream about a month ago. I didn’t know sour cream had the ability to make me feel so happy.
This is a wonderful read. I have lived outside of my familiar surroundings and it’s not impossible. I like what you say about it. I think the slowing down makes us appreciate the challenges anyone experiences in new situations or even how some older people can seem like they are *foreigners* or time travelers in the modern world.