For The Journey Not just the destination…

Happy Halloween! Our only excitement tonight is that Clover got tricked. The question is by who or how?

When I got back from the gym, Thomas was on the phone with his brother, and Clover was upstairs. When she heard me, she came running downstairs and all 4 of her feet were blue. I looked around to see if she got a marker, but it looked more like she was dipped in a bucket of kool-aid. Thomas said he didn’t know anything about it.

He said he took her for a walk while I was out, but it was only down the street, and she was leashed. Maybe she decided to dress herself up as a smurf for Halloween. My best guess is that it’s from something in one of our neighbor’s yard, but luckily it washed off. Of course, we got photos first – sorry it’s blurry.

This past weekend, Thomas and I attended Jane and Bill’s beautiful wedding in Savannah. We carpooled with Anne Marie and Dave, and got there in time to check into the hotel, clean up, and head over to the wedding. The ceremony was in one of the town’s squares, and the reception was in Paula Deen‘s Lady and Son’s restaurant. The ceremony was beautiful, and I’m totally impressed on how Jane and Bill skipped some traditions to have the wedding more reflect their personalities.

Here’s some of the highlights:

• The beautiful, sunny and warm weather, perfect for an outdoor wedding
• The excuse to check out a new area – Savannah reminds me of a little New Orleans
• The overall relaxed, casual feeling before the ceremony from chatting with the wedding party and watching as the bride danced in the grass to relax
• Jane walked in to The Pink Panther, and the married couple walked out to Mahna-Mahna by the Muppets.
• The intimate feeling from everyone there being very close to the bride and groom. It really hit me on how uneven the ratio is on family members to friends.
• The tasty food included fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and banana cream pudding.
• Sitting with a group of friends at dinner, since I’ve never been to a wedding with a group of people I knew
• Seeing the huge smile on the bride’s face throughout the night
• Seeing how friends pitched in from helping with the iPod music, to doing the bride’s hair and make up
• Going bar hopping with the bride and groom afterward and learning more about Savannah
• Carpooling on a 4 hour each way trip, and getting to know friends better
• And the rest are recorded in photos I took…

I think there were alot of things that I learned from this wedding that I can use in planning my own. I was able to confirm that wedding music can be done entirely with an iPod, guests will have fun without dancing, people will not get drunk just because there’s liquor, and traditions are not required just because they’re tradition. Congrats again, Bill and Jane!

Last year, I bought some amaryllis bulbs at Target in an after-winter sale. I put them in my window sill and they flowered. In the summer, I put them outside and they grew like weeds. Look how big they are now – that’s an upside down wine glass next to them for comparison.

One of my Japanese Maples seems to be confused too. I’m not sure which one though. One is a beautiful red, and the other is green. Other than that, the yard is covered with a ton of fall leaves, and it’s supposed to get down to the 30′s tonight. Brrr.

For Halloween, Clover is going to be a Poodle.  Actually, while we were in Savannah this weekend for Jane and Bill’s wedding, Clover was kenneled at the vet and got sick.  Usually, we get a pet sitter for her, but the plans fell through at the last minute.

The vet called this morning to ask permission to put her on a catheter (which is why her ankles are shaved).  Supposedly Clover became so stressed there that she got a 103.5 fever and colitis.  The vet recommended that she never be boarded again, if possible.

Clover is now home, her fever is down, and she is happy as a clam.  But, boy, has she been an expensive puppy this month.

A couple of weeks ago, Thomas and I met with our wedding officiant (Reverend Greg Ward from UUMAN) so he could get to know us better. We talked mostly about our backgrounds and what shaped us into who we are today. It was interesting to listen to Thomas tell his story of growing up – no surprises, but it was interesting to see which items he emphasized. I was able to learn a bit about myself too.

Greg noticed that Thomas and I communicate differently and reminded us to keep that in mind. He also recommended checking out some Non Violent Communication (more needs and feelings, less blame) books by Marshall Rosenburg, and an upcoming marriage workshop at our church. I think these were just Good-to-Know recommendations, rather than concerns for us.

After lots of negotiation (and begging), Thomas agreed to go to the class with me. The instructor, a local marriage counselor, divided the class into 3 parts. It was based on work by David Schnarch. The first part discussed how spiritual principles – like trust, commitment, and patience – apply to marriage. The second part talked about how to get out of a conflict loop – one person will have to take a leap of faith and the other person will hopefully follow. The final part discussed building the emotional bond during the physical parts of the relationship.

I really enjoyed the workshop and felt like I learned alot. The biggest thing was probably that arguments are normal and experienced by all couples. I was most surprised to see the participants ranged from new couples – us at negative 6 months, to some married longer than we’ve been alive.

We also took our engagement photos last weekend at Stone Mountain. We met our photographer bright and early and it was still cold out. She did a good job of making us smile, but Thomas has convinced me that teeth-smiles are not natural for him. I’m overly conscious and critical about myself in photos, but there were some that turned out okay. Now we’re working on putting together a wedding info site for guests and designing the Save the Dates.